WELCOME 2 ED GARCIA CONDE'S CAMPAIGN FOR BRONX BOROUGH PRESIDENT

Ed García Conde apparently has political ambitions. He recently took to Facebook to publicly announce that he is "considering" a run for Bronx Borough President in 2017. 

Conde kicks off his quixotic quasi-campaign in six sentences (the majority of which are run-ons) and 177-words (73 percent of which are monosyllabic):

I never consider running for office ever. I mean it has crossed my mind but never seriously but the crap that's going on in our borough right now makes me seriously considering running for borough president just because The Bronx deserves and demands better and although I may not be better I do know I won't ever sell my borough to the highest bidder and I'd make sure no one was left out from the table.

No closed door meetings and dealings, full transparency as well as demanding investigations into our crooked political system and organizations that take tax payers dollars and abuse them.

I won't promise to fix everything since that's not realistic but I'll make sure the best minds of our borough and everyone from all walks of life and socioeconomic levels are there by my side to guide me to do the right things that the community needs.

Never thought I'd say such things and feel them deep in my heart and soul but it feels right.

Our interests aren't being met or considered.

It's a fair bet that Conde's promise to "make sure no one was left out from the table" doesn't include anyone who thinks Bronx residents will benefit from Fresh Direct building a distribution center in an area of the South Bronx zoned for industrial use.

Nonetheless, may I suggest that to "make sure the best minds of our borough...are there by my side to guide me to do the right things" one of those geniuses knows how to write and edit grammatically proper prose.

Here is a lightly copy-edited version of Conde's announcement, with corrected grammar, punctuation and verb tense inconsistency (for the most part, I left the run-on sentences alone, because I didn't want to spend more than a minute or two editing his unnecessarily wordy verbiage):

I never considered running for office, ever. I mean, it has crossed my mind, but never seriously. But the crap that's going on in our borough right now makes me seriously considering running for borough president. just because The Bronx deserves and demands better, and although I may not be better, I do know I won't ever sell my borough to the highest bidder and I'd make sure no one was left out from the table.

No closed door meetings and dealings, full transparency, as well as demanding investigations into our crooked political system and organizations that take taxpayer’s dollars and abuse them.

I won't promise to fix everything, since that's not realistic, but I'll make sure the best minds of our borough and everyone from all walks of life and socioeconomic levels are there by my side to guide me to do the right things that the community needs.

Never thought I'd say such things, and feel them deep in my heart and soul, but it feels right.

Our interests aren't being met or considered.

This is a freebie, Conde. You're welcome.

Given my past dealings with him, I know that Conde will "ask kindly" for your vote, but is prepared to use "other means" to extort, um, exhort you to pull the lever for him on Election Day.